Johnson Wagner

Johnson Wagner is a guy who grew up being made fun of for his name, I’m assuming. Kids can really be cruel, especially when parents put it on a tee like that. However, I think he’s the one laughing now. He learned him some golf. Grew him a mustache. Then won him a golf tournament.

Posted in Sports Steesh | Leave a comment

Chase Carey

News Corp.

Chase Carey is the President, Chief Operating Officer, and Deputy Chairman of  Steesh News Corporation, a major international mustache media conglomerate.

Posted in Business Man Steesh, Fluffy Pushbroom Steesh | Leave a comment

Alphonso Ribeiro

Carlton Banks, Fresh Prince

Alphonso Ribeiro is probably known best for playing Carlton Banks on The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. I think he should be known best for being in a Pepsi commercial with Michael Jackson and making it out untouched.

Somebody with more time than me was able to make a .gif of the time Alphonso learned he would have to shave his mustache on The Fresh Prince:


Edit: I guess this only works if you click the picture.

Posted in Character Actor, Game Show Host Steesh, TV Steesh | Leave a comment

Paul F. Tompkins

Paul F. Tompkins is a human being who tells jokes and does fun voices. You might have seen him in Mr. Show, Best Week Ever, or as wikipedia puts it, when he “starred in P.T. Anderson‘s There Will Be Blood (2007) as a character named Prescott.”
If none of these shows are ringing a bell for you, why not get a TV?

You might also know him from the podcast world. If you have listened to a podcast in the last 3 years, it doesn’t matter which one, you have heard him. Even if you didn’t know it was him. Trust me. You can keep saying you haven’t heard him, but you have. You can trust me.

Look, let’s stop fighting and just agree that this guy has a nice cookie duster, ok?

Posted in Character Actor, Movie Steesh, TV Steesh | Leave a comment

Facebook Page Now Available

I made a Steeshbook page a few months ago, but haven’t really done much to publicize it. It now has a nice collection of posts on it, so I think it’s worth following. You’ll get the same updates you would on twitter without those pesky spambots that “want to sex with you, with much love.”

Please share this link with anyone you think might enjoy it. The more followers I get, the more money I make ($0.00 per follower).

Posted in Site News | Leave a comment

Michael Cera

I once said I could watch Michael Cera read the newspaper and I would probably get a few laughs out of it. With that being said, I have to admit this is not a good look for him. It’s a great look for him.

Posted in Movie Steesh, Trimmed Steesh, TV Steesh | Leave a comment

What If They Grew A Steesh: Seal Henry Olusegun Olumide Adeola Samuel

Seal, who has just a ridiculously long name, is reportedly divorcing his supermodel wife of six years, Heidi Klum. It looks like Seal might be trying to go incognito with this fake mustache I just photoshopped on him, but as you can see the white women have wasted no time following him around now that he is available again.

Posted in Celebrity Steesh, Musician Steesh, What If They Grew A Steesh... | Leave a comment

Drew Peterson

Drew Peterson seems like a real sick bastard. He’s probably killed 2 women and maybe they are looking for one of them? His wikipedia page is pretty long. Feel free to google him and play Sherlock Holmes for the afternoon. I’ve got work to do. I would however, make the suggestion that if they are looking for a body they check the bags under his eyes.

This creep is currently in the news because Lifetime, a channel that specializes in making movies exactly like this guys life story, has made a movie about his life story. Rob Lowe of all people was cast as the ever so hansom Peterson.

Bonus picture:

Posted in Criminal Steesh | Leave a comment

Ted Turner

For the man who can afford anything – a mustache! A brief check of wikipedia tells me that his nickname is ”The Mouth (Awning) of the South.” I can’t confirm or deny that, but when has wikipedia ever been wrong in the past?

As an added bonus, here is a picture of Will Forte as Ted Turner making almost the same exact face:

Posted in Old Man Steesh, Trimmed Steesh | Leave a comment

Bill Murray

I’ve been slacking on getting some new steeshes up on the site lately. Now that Joe Flacco is out of the playoffs and people aren’t going to be googling his mustache anymore, I’ll need to actually try to get some site visitors.

Add to this, my coworker just read me the complete small print of a Panda Express coupon, and you can see why I might want to burn a little clock early in the work week.

So… Bill Murray. I’m a little embarrassed it’s taken this long to get such a glorious picture of a great actor up on the page. Enjoy.

Posted in Celebrity Steesh, Movie Steesh | Leave a comment

$35,000 Steesh

Paul Halvatzis, a real estate agent from New York, is attempting to raise $35,000 for an autism organization. He has had the mustache for 35 years.

I didn’t realize having a mustache paid you to the tune of $1,000 a year, but it helps to explain why everyone’s uncle has one.

Posted in Charity Steesh | Leave a comment

Matt Damon

In an apparent attempt to avoid going to his child’s play, Matt Damon dressed like this so he would not be allowed on school grounds. It probably worked.

Posted in Celebrity Steesh, Movie Steesh | Leave a comment

Idris Elba

Idris Elba played Stringer Bell on The Wire. Although he mainly went with the goatee in the show, he is not stranger to the steesh.

Posted in The Wire Steesh, TV Steesh | Leave a comment

Andre Royo

Andre Royo played the lovable junkie, Bubbles, on The Wire. Even as a heroin addict, Bubbles found the time to keep a respectable steesh.

I’ve never been to Baltimore, but I’m starting to think every guy has a mustache.

Posted in Character Actor, The Wire Steesh, TV Steesh | Leave a comment

Clarke Peters

Clarke Peters played Lester Freeman on The Wire.

Yesterday I started watching Season 5 of The Wire and I’m convinced I can find a week’s worth of characters with steeshes. I don’t see any reason I shouldn’t try.

Posted in Character Actor, The Wire Steesh, TV Steesh | Leave a comment

Michael K. Williams

Michael K. Williams played Omar Little on The Wire. And that’s all you need to know.

Posted in Criminal Steesh, The Wire Steesh, TV Steesh | Leave a comment

Santa Claus

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Samuel L. Jackson

Today is Samuel L. Jackson’s 63rd birthday. I imagine tonight he will be screaming at the candles on a cake until the flames go out.

Here’s a nice video of him screaming:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&NR=1&v=UPHuE5pDlEs

Posted in Movie Steesh | Leave a comment

Ron Swanson Dancing

This is how I feel about my impending four-day weekend. Hooray for Jesus!

Posted in TV Steesh | Leave a comment

Karl Malone

With the NBA starting up on Sunday, I’m going to try to post some old NBA steeshes and new ones if I can find any. Karl Malone must regret taking this picture every single day of his life.

Posted in Sports Steesh | Leave a comment

Timothy Olyphant

In my many women’s opinion, Timothy Olyphant is the most hansom man on TV.  I personally would kiss him on the lips if I had a chance have no opinion of him other than he’s a good actor with a nice lip awning.

Posted in Movie Steesh, TV Steesh | Leave a comment

Aaron Ruell

Aaron Ruell played Kip in Napoleon Dynamite, which is set to return as a cartoon early next year. My 19-year-old self would be very excited about this, but as it stands I might check out the first episode with very little hope of it being any good. I do admit, however, that when Napoleon Dynamite comes on TV, I will still keep it on if I know any of Kip’s good lines are coming up.

Posted in Character Actor, Movie Steesh, TV Steesh | Leave a comment

Boris Karloff

Boris Karloff is probably most famous for portraying the monster in the 1931 version of Frankenstein, but he is also the voice of the Grinch in the 1966 TV short How the Grinch Stole Christmas.

Every year when I remember to watch the cartoon version of How the Grinch Stole Christmas, it makes me wish that everyone involved in the Jim Carrey version would be fired from Hollywood.

Posted in Movie Steesh | Leave a comment

Tom Cruise

Tom Cruise is reprising his role as Ethan Hunt in the fourth installment of Mission Impossible, this one entitled Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol. It’s probably a decent movie and it will make a lot of money over the next few weeks. Unfortunately, I can’t see it due to my strict rule of not seeing movies with more than one punctuation mark in the title.

Posted in Celebrity Steesh, Movie Steesh | Leave a comment

Rob Wells

Rob Wells played Ricky on the Canadian series Trailer Park Boys. The show lasted 7 seasons with a couple of movies mixed in along the way. If you’ve never seen it, you really should check it out. It is hilarious.

I’ve often thought that Canadians are funnier than American’s, but that might be influenced by my love for anything John Candy.

Posted in Movie Steesh, TV Steesh | Leave a comment