The Steesh Stache Store

I resolved to stop wasting my time on social media this year, so I’ve begun wasting my time creating products no one will ever buy. And with that I’d like to introduce the Steesh Stache store:


Stay tuned for additional mustached merchandise and more!


donald trump mustache wall

I feel like this guy has been in the news a little bit lately. Here is Donald Trump with a fake steesh, which is possibly the only thing that could make him palatable.

I hope that some friendly Mexican boarder village builds a wall and paints the above mural on it just to warn anyone who has thoughts of immigrating here there’s a 50% chance of having to deal with Trump for the next four years.

The 2015 Year in Band Names

Every year the Onion’s AV Club compiles a list of their favorite band names of the year. The list is always worth reading and mostly crude.

Reading the list got me thinking of my deranged cousin who often tells me the names of his “new bands” via gchat. The names are often pulled from an article or news story, or whatever other nonsense we are discussing to pass a boring work day.

Like the AV clubs list it is worth looking over and mostly crude. Also, by publishing this post, I believe we own the copyright and will sue anyone who tries stealing this gold:

Suitcase of Donuts
Chemical Burger
Power Bears
Turkey Curtains – outlaw country band
Squirtin’ Curtains
Murder Squirter
Pete the Dolphin Friend – progressive bluegrass band
Fainting Goats – reggae band
Placenta for Days – coffee house folk band
Daze for Placenta – speed metal band
Hitler Playing Sega
Hair Mayonnaise
Lumberjack Bandit
Lumberjackit Band
Wheelbarrow Full of Cash – jazz band
Train Stuffing Tokyo – EDM
Fancy Tortillas – ska
Bird Strike
Reek for Weeks
Beef on Demand
Beef Reeks
Coral Beef
Beef Corral
Beef Reeks
Beef Leeks
Armed Children
Hood Donuts
Crude Weiners
Rude Weiners
Glued Weiners
Prude Weiners
Feud Weiners
Quintuple Double
Corpse-filled Boat
Gag on Banana – ska
Snake Mattress – christian metal band
Mattress Snake
Chauffeured Jag
Vomit Therapy
Commercial-free Wretching
Gaunt Polar Beer
Ronald Raven
Cash Cow
Facebook Threats
They Call Them Dinkies
So Many Holes!
Stretched Foreskin
Stretched 4 Skin
My van’s on the Internet?
Hotcake Syrup
The Economic Terrorists
Smear Job
6 Pitches, Zero Swings
Puff Lunch
Puff Munch
Munching Puffs
Merkin Puffs
Climaxing Mirman
Pinata Full of Hot Dogs
The Bar Hardening
The Perfect Beef
The Chocolate Combination
Zoomin’ on Wangs
Wayward Meat
Sir Valience
Heroin Meat Thieves
Screen Wipings
The Creamy Bananas
Porch Pirates
Carpentry Hot Dog
Carpenter’s Working Lunch
Table Saw Dawg
[guitar riff]
Prison Ham Farts
Hamdogger & the Fiscal Cliff
Fiscal Cliff Murder
Mud Slut
Baby Shield
Creeping Jungle Cat
Hope for Injuries
Transient with a Hatchet
Fishtank Airhose and the Colossal Apostle Fossils

If you are a betting man, you can probably expect to see at least one of these on the AV Clubs 2016 list of terrible band names.

Michael Showalter/Alan Shemper – Wet Hot American Steesh


Michael Showalter Mustache Alan Shemper Wet Hot American Summer
I don’t post on here anymore but it has come to my attention that the preeminent mustache archive was lacking a very important one. One of the best parts of one of my very favorite movies. Enjoy!

Happy Steesh-O-Ween

I sure I wish I had time to make some new Horror Movie Villains with steeshes, but it’s not possible. So today I’ll shares some of my favorite scary, creepy or Halloween themed steeshes:

POLL RESULTS: Do You Like Your Job?

Thank you to everyone who participated in yesterday’s job poll. As I suspected, the majority of people do not like their jobs, and we have no professional athletes or movie stars visiting this website. Therefore, to amuse those struggling to get through the day, I can feel free to post pictures of famous people with mustaches, and they’ll never know if I make fun of them.

Leonardo Dicaprio Dancing Wolf of Wall Street

A Million Ways To Steesh In The West

Neil Patrick Harris Mustache A Million Ways to Die in the West


According to the Onion AV Club review of A Million Ways to Die in the West, Neil Patrick Harris plays an oily proprietor of an upscale “mustachery.” So make sure to see this when it’s no HBO in a few years.

Insert Me Thursday: Tobias Fünke in One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest

Insert Me Anywhere Tobias Funke One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest


Insert Me Thursday: Tobias Fünke in The Big Chill

Insert Me Anywhere Tobias Funke Big Chill


Insert Me Thursday: Tobias Fünke with Carl Weathers in Predator

Today’s theme: Insert Me Thursday!Insert Me Anywhere Tobias Funke Predator

Action Hero Tobias with his acting coach Carl Weathers in Predator- Double Steesh!

What-If-They-Grew-A-Steesh Wednesday: Elizabeth Banks

Elizabeth Banks is the white/female Anthony Anderson. She can be seen in almost any movie or TV show that has come out in the last 10 years. I once went to a movie where she appeared in 3 previews back-to-back-to-back. One was a political drama, one a romantic comedy,and the last was a horror film.